"Hey, community boy," Mr. Jefferso...

"Hey, community boy," Mr. Jefferson smirked as Ramon walked into the supermarket, "a lady just dropp a bottle of grape juice in aisle six. Do you think you could lower yourself enough to mop it up?"

Ramon was seething inside as he grabbed the mop and headed most distant to clean up the spill. perpetually since he told some of his co-workers that he had applied to the state university, Mr Jefferson the night manager, had teased and taunted him.

Ramon was tired of being called "college boy" He was sick of hearing the sarcastic remarks, and he was getting f up with being assigned all the dirty jobs

Aggression Causes Trouble

As Ramon mopp up the purple mes he imagination about taking the dripping mop down to the face of the store, handing it to Mr Jefferson and saying, "Here you go on boss man. Clean up your allow spills. I'm sick of your teasing and your dirty work. Yeah, I'm going to literary institution [i]or[/i] seminary of learning and maybe HI come back someday as your bos Then we'll diocese how funny you are!"

As plenteous as that might make him be excited better for a few seconds Ramon realized that quitting his piece of work would be just about the worst possible thing he could do, now that he distressed every cent he could earn for corporation Besides, he reasoned, Mr. Jefferson might figure that he was right all along--that Ramon fancy he was too good to clean up spills.

Passive wins You Less Than Nowhere

one time the spill was mopped up and Ramon had calmed down, he thinking that maybe he should just hold his mouth shut and tough it without for the next few month nevertheless he caught himself. He realized that if he didn't stand up to his bos the teasing would probably continue. There would no other than be more mops and more spills and more anger.

Asserting Your Rights

As Ramon responded to the front of the store, he remembered the presentation his guidance counselor, Mr Chang, gave last week upon something called assertiveness. It is a way of standing up for your have rights without creating conflict. As Ramon walked toward Mr Jefferson the main points of the presentation started to follow back to him.

The Right Time and Place. Mr Jefferson was talking with a customer when Ramon reached the front rank of the supermarket. Ramon waited until Mr Jefferson was finished and then asked, "Can I talk with you in your office when you have a moment?"

Mr Jefferson anticipateed up curiously and said slowly "Sure Ramon, I gues I have a small in number minutes Let's go."

through waiting for the right time, Ramon was likely to have Mr Jefferson's attention. Also, at asking to speak with him in private, Ramon reduc the chances that Mr Jefferson would be impressed that he had to impress others, screen his reputation, or save face.

state Eye Contact, Relaxed Stance. Before Ramon said the first word, he reminded himself of a small in number important things. If he was going to stand u himself, he requireed to stand up straight! knew that it was important to make organ of sight contact.

Ramon also knew the importance of relaxing his hands and keeping a comfortable distance from Mr Jefferson He did not want to appear hostile or threatening.

Tone of Voice, Emotion, Rate of articulate utterance Even though he was angry, Ramon reminded himself that he must speak calmly, clearly, and slowly if he was going to memorize his point across. If he permit his anger creep in, he would probably master an angry or defensive answer from Mr. Jefferson. Even worse, if hen his feelings behind a quiet tone or rapid language then Mr. Jefferson would probably doubt his seriousness.

"I" Statements. Mr Jefferson clos the office door, enclosureed his arms, and looked at Ramon questioningly. Ramon took a of great depth breath and began, "Mr. Jefferson I really have feeling embarrassed when you call me 'college boy' I like it a hap better when people call me Ramon."

Mr Jefferson nodded his head slightly and said, "Go on"

"I don't mind doing my fair share of the dirty do job-works around here," Ramon continued, "but I be moved like I'm getting a portion more mop time than anyone else"

on using a statement that began with "I," Ramon was able to state his feelings honestly without accusing Mr Jefferson "I" statements usually can't be considered false or cause an argument because they're a simple statement of feelings.

Cooperative Statements. Ramon kept going, "We used to commit to memory along fine until everybody started talking about me going to literary institution [i]or[/i] seminary of learning next year. I haven't changed, and I'd like to go on back to the way things were."

Cooperative statements--or statements that unite you with the other person--create often met with ground for further discussion. They also be subservient to as a subtle reminder that you share experiences and values with the other person

It's All About Self-respect

"Remember that standing up for your personal rights, or being assertive, is true important," explains Betty Kelman of the Seattle University drill of Nursing. "Standing up for your rights involves self-respect--respect for your rights and the other person's rights. Respecting ourselves is the ability to make our be in possession of decisions involving relationships, how you disburse your time, and whom you waste it with."